The Scattered Thoughts of Me

Pictures Posted

2008-03-27T14:22:00.000-07:00

Not that anyone reads this, because why read a blog I never update? But I put some new pictures on my flickr page. Some are from a soccer game I went to last night between Mexico and Ghana. I never saw Mexico play while I was there, so it was a bunch of fun to go see them here in England. Plus they won 2-1. Sweet!

French Chocolate Is Good

2007-11-10T13:56:00.000-08:00

I went to France last week on a business trip. I'm glad to report that it wasn't all business though! I had a fun time in Paris and Albertville. I really liked France! Paris was a neat place. The Eiffel Tower was really neat to see close up. That was my favorite touristy thing I saw in Paris. I also liked the pastries and chocolates and espressos. Albertville was a nice little town on the edge of the Alps. It'd been a long time since I'd seen mountains.

If you want to see some pictures, you can see them in my Flickr page. Click here. And enjoy!!

Azerbaijani Coke Is Not Good

2007-06-18T14:11:00.000-07:00

The kebab shop where we normally get lunch on Mondays always has its soft drinks imported from the strangest places. The Coca Cola we’d been drinking for a while was from Georgia. Not Georgia as in Atlanta, the home of Coca Cola, but the former Soviet republic of Georgia. The Georgian Coke was as good as the normal British Coke, I suppose. But last week the Coke was from Azerbaijan. It was not good.

Almost June?

2007-05-29T03:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was four days before the first of June. The high temperature yesterday (according to my thermometer) didn't get above 45 degrees. "What?" you say, "That's ridiculous!" You're right, it was crazy!

Twenty-eight Answers to Seven Questions

2007-05-16T14:10:00.000-07:00

I don’t normally do these things, but since Greta (one of my long-time heroes) tagged me, I will respond to her tag this time. But for my part, the chain ends here, because I tag no one. I will remain “it” until the day I die, or until the world forgets about this blog, whichever comes first.

Four jobs I’ve had: Teaching loser kids in Mexico (Just kidding, Kathy and Cole!), waiter in a restaurant for two or three weeks, official scorekeeper at youth softball league, grocery bagger

Four places I’ve lived: Mexico City, Nashville, the London suburb of Redhill, Shelbyville

Four movies I watch over and over: Star Wars (1-6), Napoleon Dynamite, Rushmore, The Godfather

Four favorite foods: tacos de bistec, Kathy’s Mom’s chop-chay, chicken wings from Toot’s, Baskin Robbins ice cream

Four favorite TV shows: The Simpsons, Futurama, Atlanta Braves baseball, Sunday Night Baseball on ESPN

Four places I’d rather be right now: Mexico City, Shelbyville, Chicago, Hawaii

Four things I wonder about: How long till this broken world is made right? Why not now? Who is like He who will accomplish it? What is my part in the grand scheme?

And actually, I already know the answer to one of those things I wonder about. No one.

So I guess I should revise the title to this post to "Twenty-nine Answers to Eleven Questions, with Four Answers in Question Form." But that might be too much.

Nerd

2007-04-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, I read something about how to know if you're a really big nerd. The funniest one was that if you snicker at people when they talk about centrifugal force, you know you're a total nerd. I had a nerd experience today while eating lunch. I was reading the ingredients on a bag of potato chips, and at the very end of the list were these two: salt, potassium chloride. And I kid you not, here's the thought that came to my head, "Don't they know that potassium chloride IS a salt?" At that moment, I realized yet again that I am a big nerd.

Vacation

2007-03-31T18:19:00.000-07:00

I got back from a little vacation on Thursday. If you want to see a few pictures I've posted on my Flickr action, you can click here.

I had a fun time; maybe I'll write something about the trip at some point in the near future.

Little Late in Coming

2007-03-21T19:05:00.000-07:00

Did I forget to post this? Oops!! Well, here it is now... retroactive to late November.

I'm going to be taking a break from blogging for at least three months, maybe four or more.

It's not for any specific reason; maybe I'm just being lazy.

Quite Possibly the Funniest Joke Ever

2006-11-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

Q: What do they call English Muffins in England?

A: Muffins.

As an added bonus, I've also posted a few more pictures from the area, including this picture of a funny road sign. You can find the link below in a previous entry.

Big Trip

2006-10-30T01:06:00.000-08:00

Hey, that's Big Ben! If you've ever wondered what I'd look like pondering the deepest questions of like while standing near the enormous clock tower, see my new profile picture!

And if you'd like to see a few more pictures from London, click here.

The highlight of last Saturday's venture into London: getting cursed at by a very angry Scot with a very dirty mouth. Why it happened is of no consequence, so I won't mention it here. Well, okay, you convinced me. On the train ride home, I picked trash off the seat to sit down, and set the trash a little bit too close to his Kentucky Fried Chicken (not Tennessee Fried Chicken, because they were closed). That angered him, and he used a few choice words to describe that anger. Then he offered me some of his chips. That's french fries here.

And in other news, I got in a car and drove Saturday afternoon. I sat in the right side of the car, shifted with my left hand, and drove on the wrong side of the road. That'll take some getting used to.

Where am I?

2006-10-19T04:40:00.000-07:00

A one-question quiz:

Q: Where am I?

(a) England
(b) 30 minutes by train from London
(c) Redhill
(d) Surrey
(e) All of the above

A: (e)

My Water Heater and I

2006-07-20T18:43:00.000-07:00

If I were forced at gunpoint to rate the performance of my water heater over the last two years, I would give it a 3 out of 10. It earned 2 of those points by keeping its pilot light on all night about 25% of the time. The other point is for the fact that it does heat water quickly. But that's only one point, because it should heat that water quickly; it's such a small amount of water. It's not enough for me to take an entire shower without feeling the cold at the end (or at the beginning, or somewhere in the middle). So in light of its poor performance, I haven't been on good speaking terms with my water heater. And a week ago was the last straw. I ripped out that thing's pilot light assembly and downright replaced the whole thing! Showed it who's boss!! Over the last week I would rate its performance at 7.5 out of 10. That's 6.5 points for keeping the pilot lit 100% of the time, even in the blinding rain. The other point is for the fact that it does heat water quickly.

Car Trouble

2006-07-05T18:22:00.000-07:00

My car broke down yesterday. The guy who drove the tow truck said that it was a hose. That explanation makes sense to me. I was driving along, when suddenly these horrible noises started somewhere in the engine. I pulled over and got out, and saw that a lot of liquid was pouring onto the ground. I pushed the car back a little bit to get a better look... it was green... anti-freeze. I was trying to go a back way out to the school for our July 4th party when the car broke. I decided that I wanted to be in an easy place to describe for whoever might come help me, so I started the car back up and turned around to head back to a main road, but the engine shut down before I made it. I ended up calling the insurance company, and they called a nearby tow truck that took the car back to the office neighborhood. While I was waiting for the truck, I saw a three-legged dog hobbling down the road. It was running after a guy on a bike, who I guessed was its owner. It was funny, I noticed while watching that dog, that it seemed as happy with three legs as any four-legged dog. I know it’s just an unintelligent dog, but could we intelligent people learn a lesson there?

Five Points

2006-06-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

I am excited to officially welcome into the group of "faithful readers" a long-time hero of mine in Mexico. Welcome, Greta! One of these days I'll read your blog!
I saw one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time yesterday. Sorry, Greta, I'm not talking about you anymore. Although you are one of the coolest people I've seen in a long time. Yesterday I was on the metro going to Xochimilco (my favorite place in the city), and inside one of the dark tunnels some company has placed all these signs that, when the train is moving, work together to make a movie. I marveled as I watched two Chrysler Voyagers drive into the picture while staring at the normally dark tunnel walls. It was one of the coolest things I've seen in a long time. What genius!
It took two hours to get to Xochimilco on public transportation. It took three hours to get home in private transportation. Xochimilco is about 25 miles from my house.
How confusing is the English language to people who aren't native speakers? Why do we "get on" public transportation but "get in" private transportation? How many times have I heard non-native speakers talking about getting on the car? Okay, not that many. But it does give me a funny mental image.
I was looking into other cars while stuck in traffic on the way home last night. One reason is that I wasn't driving, so I didn't have to watch the road. Another reason is that I was riding in a big van, so I was up high enough to see into most cars. I was looking into this fancy Audi, noticing the fancy navigation and entertainment systems and stuff. It reminded me of the little personal entertainment system on the plane I flew on to Korea last year. It had games, music, movies, news, and stuff like that. I watched a few movies and listened to some music. Honestly though, how much J-pop can a person listen to before it all starts sounding the same?

Getting Old

2006-06-19T21:33:00.000-07:00

I have many vague memories. Here's one of them. When my brothers and I were kids, we were eating at Taco Bell, and my little brother went up to the register by himself to get something (for dessert, or maybe another taco or something). I remember either my older brother or I telling him to make lots of noise and bang the coins on the counter so the person working the register wouldn't ignore him.

We don't have to do that anymore. We've gotten older. I thought of that vague memory when thinking about the latest thing that happened to me and told me that I'm continually getting older.

Mexico is full of street vendors, sidewalk vendors, church vendors, and vendors in just about any place where you can find people to buy things. One of the lines they've been using ever since I got to Mexico (especially the ones selling flowers and cruddy jewelry) is, "For your girlfriend." I was in Xochimilco two weeks ago, and a canal vendor was selling some junk (I don't even remember what it was), and when I said I didn't want anything, he came back with, "For your wife." Arrrgh!! I'm getting old!!

Do you know...?

2006-05-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

Do you know what great world event happened ten years ago today?

That's right! I graduated from high school.

Maybe the historians missed it, but I remember.

. . . Those Indifferent Clocks

2006-04-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

It's almost May. My term expires May 28. That's less than a month away. I need to decide quickly.

A Song to Pass the Time

2006-04-19T19:41:00.000-07:00

When I say song, I mean blog update. And when I say to pass the time, I mean full of random thoughts.

I like that title though, because it’s a great song by Bright Eyes.

If I could go to a good music store right now (I haven’t found any in Mexico City), I’d buy something by Bright Eyes. And I’d buy something by 10,000 Maniacs and some Natalie Merchant solo action.

Several years ago a friend made me a cd full of emo, with stuff like Bright Eyes and Konstantine. That’s still a cool song. These are my favorite lines:

This is because I can spell “konfusion” with a “k” and I can like it.
It’s to dying in another’s arms and why I had to try it.
It’s to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car...

I got my wish tonight. It’s actually raining. Real rain, not just a scattered sprinkle. It’s so hot and dry and dusty here. Once the rain stops I’ll open the windows and let the cool moist air fill the house. And I’ll sleep in that different air.

I haven’t done a lot during the break, but I have taken time to do the number one thing on my list: rest. I need to do more of the number two: read. Maybe I can do that soon, after I finish this.

I have been reading people’s blogs all night. I enjoy reading people’s blogs, even though I don’t know them. Hey you, if you’re reading this and have a blog, I probably read it. Even if you don’t know me. You probably found mine through the same random connections that I found yours. Sometimes I want to comment on those blogs (those of people I don’t know), but I think it might be seen as weird. So I never do. But if you’re reading this, you can feel free to comment on anything (within reason). I wouldn’t think it weird.

Maybe that’s me being a wimp. Telling people I don’t know they can comment on my blog, but refusing to comment on their blogs.

Time to go read some.

Butterfingers

2006-04-11T18:14:00.000-07:00

One Wednesday evening when I in the seventh grade or so, my youth pastor Derrick brought a bunch of Butterfinger candy bars to Impact, the normal Wednesday night youth event. He gave a whole Butterfinger bar to all the people who brought their Bibles that night, which was about two or three. I was in agony! If only I'd brought my Bible! A crispety, crunchety, peanut-buttery Butterfinger bar could've been mine! For free! Did I bring my Bible to church next Wednesday? You bet I did. So did 95% of the people who didn't get a candy bar. The "Butterfinger Revival" lasted several weeks. I continued to bring my Bible to church for a long time after that. But for the next four of five years that Derrick was my youth pastor, he never again brought Butterfinger bars.

Uninteresting

2006-04-07T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm tired. What more can I say? These last several weeks have been very hard. These last two months have been the hardest in a long time. Another uninteresting post.

Almost Sleepwalking

2006-03-25T19:00:00.000-08:00

I'm too tired for only 9:00. I was at the office all stinking day today. When I finally got home I started bumping into things. First I bumped my knee into the corner. Then about five minutes later I opened the freezer door into my head. And now there's this Korean soap opera (dubbed into Spanish) on TV. I'm not actually watching it, but I can hear the music. Those Korean soap operas have a very distinctive sound. I should go to bed.

The Weekend and Tonight's Thoughts

2006-03-21T18:42:00.000-08:00

I spent the last few hours this afternoon writing a brief history of my life over the last five or six years. I’d originally planned to post it all here as a four-part series, but by the time I’d finished, it had become too deep, too personal, too private. But I can give you a general idea of some of the things I wrote.

This weekend has been a wonderful four-day weekend, because today is Benito Juarez day in Mexico. Benito Juarez is like the Abraham Lincoln of Mexico, and his birthday coincides (more or less) with the vernal equinox, which is a big event in a sun-worshipping culture like that of Mexico past (and to an extent of Mexico present). So we got off from school today for the big day. We were off yesterday because it was the “bridge” that connected the weekend to the holiday. Friday afternoon after school Amy, Sarah, and I went to Querétaro and hung out with Nolan for a few days. We messed around Querétaro and San Miguel de Allende, and hiked up a monolith (a big rock sticking out of the ground) called Peña de Bernal. It was a lot of fun to get away from the city and hang out with cool people and not have much to be stressed about for a few days. Yesterday I spent the day running around getting stuff done and not thinking a whole lot about much. Then this morning I finished all of my school preparations for the long weekend, so I went to the Starbucks to drink a mocha blanco and read a book called A Grief Observed by CS Lewis. And it inspired me to think and to write.

The book is a series of thoughts CS Lewis wrote as a grieving exercise after the death of his wife. One thing hit me in particular: his realization of where his faith was. When his wife died, he found that his faith was not a steady trust in God himself, but that it was “a house of cards” that was knocked over by circumstance. He noted that whenever his “faith” (his house of cards) was crushed, he would be broken for a while before deciding to pick up the pieces and go about rebuilding the house of cards.

That entire line of reasoning struck me because it is an accurate picture of my life and my tendency. My faith is so often built on things or people or circumstances or ideas or dreams, rather than being firmly rooted in God and his faithfulness. So whenever a storm comes along that blows at my faith, my house of cards falls. All the hopes I’ve been working on since the last storm fall and become worthless. All the plans I’ve made and dreams I’ve dreamed and time I’ve invested in stacking these cards: all gone, all wasted. So it breaks me until I decide to get up and begin rebuilding. And I do the same thing and begin rebuilding that house.

How can I be set free from this cycle? How does real faith work? How can I build hope and faith in God alone? How does true unaffected joy come? These are my thoughts and prayers tonight.

New Look, Old Conversation

2006-03-11T18:25:00.000-08:00

Who's that handsome fella drinking that delicious Mountain Dew from that sweet Taco Bell cup? That's me, of course! That picture is from McAllen, Texas. Alack, no Taco Bell here in Mexico City!

I changed the look of my blog. The letters are bigger, so it may be easier to read. What do you think of it? The subtitle says that it's for the new year. It's not really; I just like the way it sounds catchy.

I had that conversation again today. This time while eating lunch at the mall food court. You know the one; it starts out something like, "So what you are going to do when your time here ends?" It ends with no resolution on my part. I enjoy having the conversation, but I wish I knew the answer to the question.

To add one more corporate plug, drinking coffee from my Krispy Kreme mug makes drinking coffee more fun.

Burst My Bubble??

2006-03-06T15:39:00.000-08:00

Dear Kathy and Cole,

Don't worry. You didn't burst my bubble. My facts have been thoroughly researched, pondered, and considered. Tennessee is the greatest. Texas is not. How much more simple can it get? The movies I listed as the top three are the greatest. Those listed as the bottom three are horrible. It's all so obvious. So don't be too concerned about me; my bubble ain't burst.

But to show you that there's only amiableness here, I'm going to officially declare the following:

Song of the Day: Fame

Fame! I'm gonna live forever!
I'm gonna learn how to fly! [High!]
I feel it coming together,
People will see me and cry! [Fame!]
I'm gonna make it to heaven,
Light up the sky like a flame! [Fame!]
I'm gonna live forever!
Baby, remember my name!

Top / Bottom

2006-02-28T10:39:00.000-08:00

Here is a collection of lists, presented in top / bottom format. For those of you who are not familiar with this format (that'd be everyone, since I just made this format up a little while ago), I'll explain it to you. Suppose there are three items in a list. They will be appear in order as shown below:

1. The absolute best / the absolute worst
2. The second best / the second worst
3. The third best / the third worst

I'll give you an example.

Car brands I might be able to afford sometime in my life:

1. Honda / Pontiac
2. Nissan / Chevrolet

Honda is the absolute best, and Pontiac is the absolute worst. Nissan isn't as good as Honda, but second place is still pretty good! Chevrolet is not quite as bad as Pontiac, but it's not in an enviable position, to be sure.

Got it? Good. Here come a few:

Cars:

1. Ferrari 456M GT / Hummer H2
2. Porsche 911 Turbo / Hummer H3

Movies:

1. Braveheart / Return to Me
2. The Godfather / A Walk to Remember
3. Napoleon Dynamite / How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Soft drinks:

1. Mountain Dew / Pepsi
2. Manzana Lift / Root Beer
3. Coca-Cola / Dr. Pepper

Star Wars Movies:

1. Return of the Jedi / The Phantom Menace
2. The Empire Strikes Back / Attack of the Clones
3. The original Star Wars (A New Hope) / Revenge of the Sith

Languages I Actually Know:

1. English / Spanish

Languages I wish I knew:

1. Japanese / French French
2. Korean / Canadian French

TV Sitcoms:

1. The Simpsons / Seinfeld
2. Futurama / Everything else

Mexican Foods:

1. Bistec tacos / Cold wet pork rind soup

Sports:

1. Baseball / Basketball
2. Pro Football / Men's Figure Skating

Sports Teams:

1. Atlanta Braves / New York Yankees
2. Tennessee Titans / All other American League baseball teams
3. Nashville Predators / New York Mets

States:

1. Tennessee / Texas

Big Airports:

1. Atlanta / Houston

And finally........

Foods:

1. Big juicy perfectly cooked New York strip / Cold wet pork rind soup
2. Bistec tacos / Bad kimchi
3. Chicken wings from Toot's / Broccoli

Lately

2006-02-25T16:48:00.000-08:00

A crazy thing happened the week before last. I was driving down the road, minding my business, staying in my lane, getting ready to veer to the right at a fork in the road, when another driver decided that he wanted to veer left at the fork, across two lanes of traffic. I slammed on my brakes and heard a pop, but didn't slow down like I should have. I lost about 95% of the car's braking power. Luckily, the guy who wanted to veer left decided not to, and after I veered left, I had a lot of clear, open road in front of me, so nothing bad happened. It did startle me just a bit though. Sort of like when I saw the hill in front of my house on fire.

I ate homemade pizza last night. Sarah taught me how to make it, because she felt sorry for me, because I was getting frustrated with the people at Domino's and Pizza Hut. Some of the most frustrating times I've had in the last few months have been trying to get pizza. So we made pizza last night. (Actually, last night was the second time; she taught me how to do it a few weeks ago). It wasn't very fancy, just mushrooms, red onion, and green pepper; but it was really tasty. Actually, Sarah did most of the work; I just cut up the veggies. Before you get excited, thinking that I'm starting to grow up and enjoy veggies, I should remind you that technically green peppers are fruits, and mushrooms are fungi, so only the onion is a vegetable.

So yeah, those are some of the things that have been going on lately.

Side note: If you have that nice high-speed internet access we love so much, I suggest going to Dennis' vlog. He has some nice videos of Mexico stuff and random stuff. I like the muzak in the ones from Cafe Tacuba and Xochimilco. You can also watch videos of his cute little boy Nathan. But only if you have fast internet! The videos are 10-20 megabytes long. You'll also need a somewhat recent version of Quicktime.

Party on the Boats

2006-02-07T17:09:00.000-08:00

I had a really fun time at Xochimilco on Saturday. It was like a big party... it was a big party. On boats. There were about 27 people or so there, so we had to get two boats and put them together on the canal. Someone rented mariachis to play a couple of songs, and I got my ears blown off by the loud horns as I sat directly in front of them. I don't have a digital camera, so I can't put up any pictures here. But Dennis and Amy both are good with posting pictures on their blogs. Write me if you need a link, and I'll send you one.

Quote for the day:

VisionLine which was motivated from natural-friendly beauty offers you to be simple and new beauty.

[taken from the package of a set of Korean silverware - stainless steel chopsticks with large soup spoon]

Unfocused Typing

2006-02-02T18:38:00.000-08:00

I'm still alive. I'm still here. I'm just tired.

Maybe it's because I haven't done any real exercise since before Christmas. Maybe that's why I'm so tired all the time. Why haven't I done any real exercise? Because I'm too tired in the mornings. It's a vicious circle, I know.

It's burning season here in Mexico City. They like to burn the dead brush on the hills all around the city. I've known this for a while, so it shouldn't have surprised me when I looked out a few minutes ago and saw the hill in front of my house on fire. It did startle me, however. But only for a few seconds. I'm better now.

I didn't write a Thanksgiving blog entry last year. Nor a Christmas entry. I didn't even write an entry celebrating the birth of my new nephew Elijah. Neither did I write a New Year's blog entry. It's already February now. Will I write a birthday entry? How about a Valentine's Day entry? Some friends have planned a big party in Xochimilco on Saturday for my birthday. I'm excited. I don't know about Valentine's Day, but I imagine there won't be anything to write about this year.

I finished the "space trilogy" by CS Lewis a couple of weeks ago. It was really good. I had been reading those books since sometime in November (or perhaps October). The first two flew by, but the third took a while to get going. I really liked all three. CS Lewis is my favorite writer. I've read more of his books than any other.... probably more CS Lewis in the last year than all the others combined.

If you read this all the way through, I thank you. I'm writing this for you, Faithful Reader. That's the name I'm going to give you. I could've titled tonight's drivel "Scattered Thoughts," but I didn't want to overuse that phrase.

I wish I knew what to do. My term here will end at the close of the school year in early June. I have some ideas in my head, but I'm not so sure about any of them. I know what my "best" plan would be, but it would involve some serious quick developments. Something really big coming from the nothing that exists right now. And I don't really know that it's best. Hence the quotation marks. I'm writing in vague language here, I know.

I am going to stop writing now. Faithful Reader, you are the greatest.

My Laziness Is Obvious

2006-01-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

I'm a lousy blogger. I apologize.

Priorities

2005-12-01T17:50:00.000-08:00

My priorities must be out of order. I spent three days last week on the beach in Acapulco, enjoying the hot weather and watching the waves for hours on end. But the reason I'm here writing is to tell you how excited I am that my collection is complete. Yes, that's right: I finally have Star Wars III: The Revenge of the Sith on dvd. It just doesn't seem like it should be more exciting news than my time on the beach. I had a fun time. I really enjoy the beach, and I especially enjoy the hot weather when I can run in and get wet in the ocean or the pool whenever I take a notion to.

It's December already. Wow. In three weeks I'll be in Tennessee. This weekend I am going to a place called Ixtapan de la Sal for a couple of days. There is a mission retreat on Friday night, and I may stick around Saturday night for whatever. I don't really know what's happening. Maybe it'll be warm there too, and I can swim some more.

Lessons Learned

2005-11-17T18:22:00.000-08:00

Two quick notes here on things I discovered this week:

Coffee on a school night is not a good thing. Coffee on Friday or Saturday night is good. Coffee in the morning or early afternoon of a school day is pretty good too. I was up all night Sunday night after Krispy Kreme coffee.

Real lemonade is much better than Kool-Aid. After a couple of months of drinking the real stuff (they've been selling yellow lemons here since September), I realized after making some Kool-Aid that the freshly squeezed action is so much better. It's not as convenient, but worth the extra effort. As time goes on, I guess I'll make a decision on just how much inconvenience it's worth.

Big Day for Bad Drivers

2005-11-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

This morning there was frost on my car. I guess it's getting around to that time of year: the cold season. It'll probably be good and cold by the time Thanksgiving gets here, which will make my trip to Acapulco (which I will hopefully be making during the Thanksgiving holiday) even nicer. I haven't been to the beach to swim since July 2004 in South Padre Island. I went to two beaches while I was in Korea, but it was too cold to swim. I wasn't dressed for swimming anyway.

I saw three wrecks this afternoon. I actually saw one happen live, right before my eyes. The first was a school bus that somehow ended up knocking down a telephone pole. It didn't look like it was too badly damaged though. I can't imagine what the driver had to be doing to wreck like that, except be driving way too fast. The second was the one I saw happen. This punk kid driving way too fast on Lomas Verdes lost control of his car while trying to weave through traffic. He lost it about 5 seconds after passing me going way too fast, but by that time he was well ahead of me. He ended up going across all three lanes twice before hitting another car. Everyone got out of their cars and seemed to be okay. The third happened right in my neighborhood. It looked like two punk kids were fighting for position, and the loser of the fight ended up driving straight into a wall.

I ate sushi yesterday. I ate tacos at La Leonesa tonight. I love sushi, and I love tacos.

In case you were wondering.

Big Thought for the Day

2005-10-16T21:21:00.000-07:00

I love sushi.

In case you were wondering.

Big Party

2005-10-12T18:19:00.000-07:00

Today we had a big party at school. Dia de la Raza is sort of like Mexico’s version of Columbus Day. Since the pre-Columbian Indian population of Mexico was almost completely wiped out by the Spaniards, Mexicans don’t like to celebrate the arrival of Europeans the way Americans do. We didn’t even get out of school. But Dia de la Raza is more of a day to celebrate the original inhabitants of Mexico. Mexico has an amazing, rich history of advanced native peoples. They were building cities and pyramids during the time of the Roman Empire. They were making astronomical and mathematical discoveries before their European counterparts. Our big party at school was a celebration of some of the different cultures that have come together to make our school culture. It was basically tables and tables of excellent international foods. I ate my fair share, and perhaps more. I probably would have eaten even more if I hadn’t been having digestive problems this morning. I think I was feeling bad because of nerves. I had to give a brief devotional to the teachers before school started. I reckon it’s silly of me to get nervous like that, but I still do. Thinking about today’s celebration of cultures, I talked about our citizenship in heaven. I think it went well, but I don’t know what the others thought. With two days left this week, I am finished making lesson plans for next week. That is a big relief. Now I can work in the office. There is a pile of work there waiting for me.

Big Deadline

2005-09-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

So if I get this up quickly, will it register for September? That’d give me two whole posts for the month! I’m sitting here watching a show on the Pixies. They made some pretty cool music a while back. I hear a lot of Nirvana in their music. I should say, I hear a lot of their music in Nirvana. They were around long before Nirvana. Looking at the videos and live performances, they look like such wimps.

Anyway, there’s not a lot going on here. And there is a lot going on here. I finally got a chance to breathe last night. I’d been working hard trying to get a big task done for school. I was supposed to work all last weekend, but I was so tired that I ended up sleeping way too much. Then I was supposed to get a lot done earlier this week, but caught a cold. I felt miserable on Monday, wretched on Tuesday, much better on Wednesday, almost well yesterday, and just a little bit better today than yesterday. The point of that? I didn’t get much work done until Wednesday night. But after finishing everything last night (to turn in this morning), I finally got to read a little from a book I started recently. Maybe this weekend I can read most (perhaps all) of it.

Today after school a big group went to Starbucks to hang out. Starbucks is everywhere here. Wednesday I had to go to the office supply store to get some stuff. I drove right by four Starbucks on my way to the place and back home. Today I got a good icy drink. It’s hot here now; the rainy season ended too early. Things are already starting to turn brown, and it’s not even October. Not yet… not where I am… not according to my watch. We went to Starbucks as a sort of fun thing to do for Sarah’s birthday. A bunch of people were going to go watch a movie at someone’s house, but I figured they’d pick a girlie movie, so I didn’t go. Instead I went to the office to get caught up on work there. I got there at about 6:00 and left just before 9:00. But I am all caught up.

Things are going well here. I can’t complain about anything. Actually, I’ve really been enjoying a lot of things recently. But there’s still that adventurous spirit in me. It tells me that I wish I could do something different. I want to go to Xochimilco. I want to go to Querétaro. I want to go swimming. All I’ve been doing recently is working at school, working at the office, going to meetings, and eating food. But it’s been good, because the people here are good. There’s just that part of me that gets restless.

Did I do it? Did I get it in before midnight? Should I have bothered publishing this randomness?

A Night of Mexican-Americana

2005-09-03T21:38:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the night I’d been looking forward to for a long time.

Three great things about tonight (in chronological order):

We ate Taco Bell tacos. The “we” to which I refer is (in alphabetical order) Amy, Joel, Mary Dale, and Sarah. I had a 12 pack of Mountain Dew cans that my Mom had brought me when she visited in June, and everyone knows that Taco Bell and Mountain Dew go together like hot chocolate and donuts. So earlier this week I had found some real, imported, American sour cream at the rich people’s grocery store in Zona Esmeralda. That was the trigger for finally making this Taco Bell taco party a reality. We had taco meat made with American taco seasoning from a pouch (smuggled by me), shredded lettuce (imported), fresh grated cheddar cheese (imported), hard corn and soft flour tortillas (authentically Mexican), guacamole (made by me with all Mexican ingredients), finely diced tomatoes (once again, Mexican), and the aforementioned sour cream and Mountain Dew (imported and smuggled by my Mom, respectively).
We watched the USA soccer team beat the Mexican soccer team. In a very one-sided game. Mexico never had a chance. Two nothing. Less than two weeks before Mexican Independence Day. It’s not that I’m gloating here, but it sure is nice when loudmouths are silenced. Utterly silenced. No room for even the least discussion.
We watched Napoleon Dynamite. Napoleon Dynamite is perhaps the funniest movie ever made. I don’t know yet if it is better than Dumb and Dumber, but it is at least even. If you’ve never seen it, stop what you’re doing. Don’t even finish reading my blog. Go to the nearest retail outlet that sells movies and buy it. Don’t rent it. You’ll waste your money renting it, because you’ll end up buying the movie before you go back to the video store to return the rented copy.

So, if you’re still reading this, that means you’ve already seen (and bought) Napoleon Dynamite, and you can agree with me when I ask, "What better way to finish off a night of celebrating Mexican-Americana?"

Good News / Bad News / Other News

2005-08-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

The good news:

There is a brand new Krispy Kreme close to my house here. It’s at the Mega in front of the Torres de Satélite.

The bad news:

See above; “The good news”. Now I have no reason not to be really fat.

The other news:

I heard a great song on the radio this week. It’s called “Run” by Snow Patrol. Who in the world is Snow Patrol? I don’t know. But I like this song. So much so, that I went online and bought it for 88¢. Here’s a great line from the chorus: “Light up, light up, as if you have a choice.” And no, it has nothing to do with any type of smoking anything. I guess it sounds better in the context of the song.

I had a little bit of an adventure last night. I drove down to the south side of the city to pick up some stuff and eat tacos with some folks. I left my house at about 9:30 so that traffic wouldn’t be so bad. I got there at about 10:40, ate tacos a little after 11:00, left around 12:30, and got back to my house at about 1:10. So I was out pretty late by my standards. It was fun. I should do fun stuff like that more often.

'Round and 'Round It Goes

2005-08-06T00:57:00.000-07:00

It's raining outside. It's been raining pretty hard now for a few hours. Long long rainstorms like this are rare here; brief fierce rainstorms are an almost everyday occurance during the rainy season.

How come it's so hard to think of anything to write? Words don't come. The thoughts are up there, but they never make it to my fingers. All night tonight I've been reading people's blogs... or xangas.... or whatevers. People I've never met and probably never will meet. They don't seem to have any problem thinking of stuff to write for their action. Although most of it is random poo. I think that's what inspired this entry.

But these blogs are from other Journeymen, mostly in Eastern Europe. There were some interesting things I read. Mexico seems like such a common place compared to some of the places these people go. Prague for the weekend, St. Petersburg for the day, London to see a friend. I've never been out of Mexico for anything related to the mission, except for meetings in Texas. Cuba.... that's where I want to go... on this side of the world.

One of these blogs linked to a "Don Chaffer Webring" and said "Currently listening to Bright Eyes". To enjoy either of those one has to be at least slightly out of the mainstream. But both on the same page... wow. That's way out of the ordinary. There is some good Bright Eyes action. There is even more good Don Chaffer action. Speaking of which, I really listened to Don Chaffer's "You Were at the Time for Love" for the first time today. It is excellent. I bought it back in May or June, and my mom brought it here for me when she came in June, but I hadn't really listened to it until today. The only song I'd listened to was "The Worst Is My Being Alone". I've mentioned this before, but not to this extent. The reason I'd not listened to this cd before is that I've been enthralled by 10,000 Maniacs for the last three months. It seems like the only thing I've listened to seriously since April is "Campfire Songs". Why listen to anything else when there is so much on these two cd's? After I give "You Were at the Time for Love" several more good listens, maybe I can tackle "What You Don't Know".

If you are asking what in the world I'm talking about, I'll just say, "Yes, I realize that most of that last paragraph has absolutely no meaning to you. But that's the music I've been devouring, just in case anyone out there is wondering. Maybe someone will recognize something."

I've been out of the USA since December 31. That is just over seven months, which is the longest stretch I've ever spent outside of the USA. The longest stretch I spent outside the USA during my first term in Mexico was just over five months. The longest stretch I've ever spent away from Tennessee is eleven months, during my first year in Mexico. Barring any unexpected events, I should beat that mark.... just four months to go.

3 lists:

5 things I've enjoyed this last week:

1. Xochimilco
2. Soccer
3. Sushi
4. Hanging out with my brother in general
5. Good telephone conversations

6 things I've enjoyed this last month (not including this last week):

1. Driving to Leon for Mission Meeting with old friends
2. Swimming in the pool in Leon
3. Swimming in the pool with kids
4. Quoting homestarrunner.com with kids
5. Long conversations late into the night
6. Reading good emails and old fashioned paper letters

7 things I've enjoyed this summer (not including this last month):

1. Being free of the stress of school
2. Flying on a 747
3. Flying on Japan Airlines
4. Eating lots of good Korean food
5. Experiencing a culture that is completely foreign to me
6. Seeing my mom when she came to visit
7. Eating watermelon and shooting fireworks on the 4th of July

A Year In

2005-05-29T20:41:00.000-07:00

One year later. I’ve been back in Mexico for a whole year. I got here May 29, 2004. But last year it was a Saturday, not a Sunday. No matter. It’s a year. Does it seem that long? No, it doesn’t. Yes, it does. I had a rough first few weeks when I got here a year ago. All my old friends that I knew from before left just a few days after I got back. So I had to say goodbye to all of them. But guess what; I made some new friends. And now it seems like I’m saying goodbye to all of them. I’ve said a lot of goodbyes over the last couple of days. Yesterday I had to say goodbye to one of my best friends I’ve ever known. I didn’t know what to say; I just stood there quiet like an idiot and didn’t say anything. And I’ll have some more goodbyes to say in the weeks and months to come. I’ll have one to say while I’m in Korea and another sometime this summer. So I’ve made up my mind. Saying all these goodbyes stinks.

One year later I still don’t know what I’m going to do when I leave Mexico. I still don’t know when I’ll leave Mexico. I’m so unsure about everything right now. I heard news this week that made me upset, but I don’t want to write about it here. But it really made me question a lot of things and look at myself in a new way. It made me consider why I am the way I am, and consider things that could make me something better, something more than the way I am in my natural man. Things confuse me so much. I don’t have this whole thing figured out, even though I try to think sometimes that I do. I guess I’m fooling myself when I say I should have it all figured out. But I am 27 years old now; shouldn’t that count for something? I’ve lived out of the USA for three whole years; does that not mean anything?

Just wondering.

Getting Out

2005-05-23T20:05:00.000-07:00

A week from tonight school will be over, and I will hopefully be all packed and ready for my trip to Korea. I’m super-excited, but nervous also. I’ve never been anywhere but the USA and Mexico. Mexico sure is different from the USA (some parts of the USA at least), but Korea... that’s a whole new world. I guess since it’s a thoroughly modern country it’ll be quite westernized, especially in Seoul, but it’ll still be an experience. An adventure perhaps. I’ve been on a few adventures in my life.... I guess some people would say I’m living one right now (although most days I don’t feel like I am). Adventure to me would be hopping in the car right now and driving 4 – 5 hours and sitting on the beach talking to good friends about good stuff until the sun came up. Then spending all day on the beach relaxing and in the ocean swimming, waiting to watch the sun set, then driving back to the big city. Adventure... I want one of those. But they’re always scary to me at first. I don’t know what to expect. I won’t be in control (or even have the feeling of control). I won’t know every road I drive down; I won’t know all the short cuts or places to avoid; I won’t know exactly which lane to be in or how much to slow down for each tope (speed bump). And I like being in control, and knowing (rather, thinking that I know) exactly what’s around the corner, because I’ve been here a thousand times before. An adventure gets me out of routine. It makes me feel defenseless and helpless. And it messes me up for a while. But it almost always leaves me wanting more.

On a side note: 10,000 Maniacs is my new favorite band. Buy “Campfire Songs.” Listen to both discs five hundred times. Then tell me that you agree.

A Long Long Time

2005-03-17T18:06:00.000-08:00

It has been a long long time since I've written anything here. Sorry. Tonight is a lot like many other nights over the last several weeks: I really don't know anything to write tonight either. I will just write a brief few sentences to say that I am still here. That's about all I can think to write. Sorry. I apologize for being so bad at keeping up.

Singing Loudly

2005-01-22T18:24:00.000-08:00

I had pizza from Domino's for supper tonight. It's called "Hawaiian chick" and it has chicken, bacon, pineapple, cheddar and mozzarella, and barbecue sauce... everything good I could ever think to put on a pizza... except hot sauce. But this pizza doesn't need hot sauce, because it already has barbecue sauce. It is so good! I could eat 6 large pizzas of this type! Not really....

I went to a thing today way out there in Tultitlan. It was on the far side of the northeast section of Tultitlan, mind you. We were at a church for a training session for church planters. The point of this is that every person in the church is not only a church planter, but a trainer. Each one trains others to plant house churches, and those who are trained will in turn train others. That is the focus now here in Mexico City... with our mission anyway. It was long... long... very long.... But it was good. And I really enjoyed the music. The microphones and instruments and everything were just unnecessarily loud, but sometimes that can be a good thing. Because I enjoy singing loudly but don't sing well, with so much noise to drown me out I can sing as loud as I want and bother no one with my horrible off-key squeaky singing. We sang one of my favorite Mexican songs "Te Alabaré," as well as a bunch of songs I had never heard before. I don't go to churches very often that have music like that where I can blast out like I enjoy doing from time to time.

I am reading the book "Shadow of the Almighty" right now. I tell you what, Jim Elliot was a genius. The book is composed primarily of excerpts from his journal and letters written to his friends and family. Most of what I've read so far was written in the late 1940's. That was a time when letter-writing was still an important form of communication, and his letters are incredible to read in their density and depth. His journal entries are perhaps even more dense and deep, because of their distinctly "spiritual" nature. And he wrote all these things while he was still in college. I've been out of college for 4.5 years now, and I can hardly write a silly blog entry. I wish I could quote whole pages from the book here for you. You'll just have to read it. While you're at it, read "The Screwtape Letters" also. If you've already read either or both of those, read them again. They're worth it. May I point you specifically to Screwtape's letter number 12?

It is raining here. It hasn't rained all month. But it's January, and it's not supposed to rain. It's okay though... I'm sure the ground will appreciate it. And with all the dust in the air, maybe this rain will settle the dust, for a day at least. And the guys who wash cars at the grocery store parking lots will have a busy time during the next few days. They actually stay pretty busy all the time. It is rare to see a dirty car here. My car is an exception. I'm usually not planning on spending enough time at the store to get my car washed, and I don't know any of the people in my neighborhood who wash cars, so my car is usually quite dusty.

I guess I'm rambling. No need for that! So I'll stop abruptly...... right..... now!

Little Things

2005-01-20T21:21:00.000-08:00

It's almost the end of the second week since we returned to school after the Christmas break. It is going well so far. There was an incident last week, but it seems like things have cleared up there. We had a mission function last Saturday, and there is another one this Saturday. I'm probably weird for saying this, but I actually like the mission functions. It gives me a chance to see people that I don't see very often. I don't like meetings, but I like talking to people I don't normally get to talk to. I also like eating, but there aren't any big meals during these two things. Last Saturday at the thing, I was surprised at how everyone rushed off so quickly. I would like to have stuck around and talked longer, but I guess most people have "more important" things. What could be more important than talking to me? I couldn't imagine.

Little things... a caffe mocha from Starbucks and a piece of carrot cake from El Globo... pizza with hot sauce... cool breezy night walks through my neighborhood or around Satélite.... I don't know much about the "big things," so I guess it's good that I can enjoy the "little things." For now... I keep looking forward, but I'm not sure if that's what I should be doing. Because then I start to wonder how strong I am to endure the little things without the big things. But I guess that's the wrong question. I should be asking how strong is the one who gives me strength. Stronger than strength... that's the answer to that one.

This probably seems like a strange blog entry to you. I guess I'm in one of those moods... introspective and abstract... public and private... wanting to share but not wanting to reveal... one of those moods.... So I apologize for the weirdness here. Thanks for enduring! I've really been trying to write, but my thoughts just won't translate to words I can put down. Why can't I think straight?

A Night of Random Thoughts

2005-01-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

So how long has it been since I've updated my blog? Seven weeks? That means it's... no way... it can't be January already. It can't be 2005. Not yet. I guess it can and is, eh? So that's enough lamenting the time that's passed... enough lamenting the plans I didn't realize... enough lamenting the things I didn't do. And yeah, I've had the intention at times during the last several weeks to write something here. But my problem (besides the problem of laziness) is that I always want to write something good, something meaningful, something insightful. If I don't feel like I can put something on my blog that's actually worth the time I spend writing and the time you spend reading, then I shouldn't waste my time or yours. But then sometimes I throw that out and just sit down and type, like tonight. Maybe I could write something like I wanted to write around Thanksgiving. Maybe I could write something like I wanted to write around Christmas. Maybe I could just go ahead and write my New Year's blog entry... I'd only be a few days late on that one, as opposed to weeks on the others. Maybe I'll do something completely different. Booga booga boo! Bet you didn't see that coming!!

While I was in Tennessee (and Alabama for a few hours) during my Christmas vacation time, I had a number of conversations (over food) with friends. Some were old friends, some were old old friends. I've even had a few conversations with newer friends since being back in Mexico. But during some part of these conversations, we've gone to my situation: where I am, how'd I get (back) here, what I'm doing, and what in the world comes next. A brief answer to each of these four questions: Mexico City, not quite sure, teaching math and science, and I have no idea. But I think I mentioned every time how glad I am to be here. I feel blessed beyond measure to be here where I am, doing what I'm doing. I know what it's like to be in a place I don't like; I know what it's like to do something I don't like doing, or to not have anything to do at all. This is an amazing blessing I've been given. So much so, that my statements about living outside the USA have sometimes been taken as offensive by people who don't understand the difference. Don't get me wrong... there are definite advantages to living in the USA, and there are definite advantages to living elsewhere. I happen to be very thankful that I am living elsewhere for the moment. That's all I can think to say about that.

Five random thoughts:

1. I like Coca-Cola signs. You know, the big huge neon ones like we have here in Mexico City. There is one on the Periférico near the Toreo, and there is one on Viaducto. There are probably others that I don't see very often because I don't drive those roads much. This city is so big; there could be a hundred of them out and about in the city and I'd never find three-fourths of them because I'd never have a reason to go to those parts of the city.

2. There are some things that I would force everyone to do if I had my way. For example, I would make everyone watch the Godfather movies several times. Just parts one and two though... part three would be optional. I was thinking recently that if I could make people do things, I would make everyone go out and buy the new Caedmon's Call cd, "Share the Well," and listen to it a thousand times. I think I am about three-fourths of the way through my thousand listens. It is very good.

3. I like the writings of C.S. Lewis. I don't know why I like them so much, but I do.

4. Four great songs by Skillet: "Safe with You," "I Can," "You Take My Rights Away," and "The Thirst Is Taking Over"

5. I like eating tacos. I like real Mexican tacos and Taco Bell tacos. They are very different, but both very good. One of them is authentically Mexican, while the other claims to be but is not; but that doesn't mean that both can't be tasty.

Run for the Border

2004-11-16T17:13:00.000-08:00

I got back last night from my trip to the border of Mexico and the USA. We crossed from the city of Reynosa in Mexico to the city of McAllen in Texas. It took us about 12 hours each way, so it was a long drive, but not too bad. I went up with Dennis, for the purpose of picking up books for the school. If you’d like to see some pictures from our trip, you can visit his website. It is like a blog, but unlike mine, he actually posts on his regularly. I am no longer in the habit of doing that. Actually, it was never really a habit; there was just a brief period at the beginning when I wrote a lot. Here’s his website address: www.ymimexico.org. There are some crazy pictures of me when we were having fun with the shutter speed on his digital camera. By the by, on his website there is a link called “Tour the House!” which has pictures of my house where I live. They actually lived here for a few months before I did. So you can click on that to see where I live. The site has a lot of pictures of the school and the students there, in addition to pictures of his work teaching youth ministry at the Mexican Baptist Theological Seminary.

We had a good time on the trip. I ate riblets at Applebee’s, a grilled stuffed fajita at Taco Bell, and a cheeseburger at Logan’s Roadhouse. I also got a couple of cd’s and movies. I now own all the Star Wars movies on DVD, so I’m pumped about that. Am I a nerd or what? Today at school I played Trivial Pursuit: Lord of the Rings Edition with some of my students. Yeah, I’m a nerd. I didn’t win though, so my nerdness isn’t perfect yet.

I am so tired now. I am worn out from the trip, and from school today. I don’t have any gas for the water heater, so I can’t take a hot shower, so I am going to take a cold one before I go to bed tonight, which I am hoping will be before 8:30. So this’ll be all for now.

Cold

2004-11-10T18:52:00.000-08:00

So, I've decided that it is officially getting cold here. Not that I'm the one who decides, but you know what I mean. It actually wasn't a hard decision. The last three days there has been frost on the car when I left in the mornings to go to the school. Not just a little bit, but a good solid layer of frost, all over the car. That never happened during my first time here, so here's my theory about why it's happening now.... I live in a different neighborhood. For one thing, I'm on top of a hill, and we get a lot of wind. So the warmth that gathers during the day is quickly blown away as soon as it starts getting dark. The weather here is so dependent upon the sun. Since we are at a low latitude (technically, we're in "the tropics"), the sun is very strong, all year round. But at our high altitude (about 7500 feet), the thin air warms quickly during the day but cannot hold on to the heat through the night. So the days are great and the nights are cold. I don't know how cold the air has to be for frost to form on a car, but I heard this afternoon on the radio at about 4:00 that the temperature was 26 degrees Celsius. That is about 79 degrees Fahrenheit. So we had a temperature range today of perhaps nearly 50 degrees. Another thing about this neighborhood where I live is that it is a lot more open than my old neighborhood, and with the lack of concrete all over the place the daytime heat escapes more quickly. Yeah... that, and the wind.

I don't reckon that I have anything serious to write, so I'll end abruptly now.

Blue Skies, Green Mountains, Cool Breezes

2004-10-28T18:12:00.000-07:00

So I can’t believe it’s been almost a month and a half since I’ve written anything here. I have thought of a lot of things to write over the last several weeks, but have never sat down and done it. It’s part busy-ness, part laziness.

A lot of people have been asking me recently about my eschatological views. Not really; I don’t think anyone has actually asked me. I just wanted to sound important. But anyway, if anyone were to ask me, here’s what I’d tell them about my end-times ideas. Pre-millennial, post-millennial, blah blah. Who knows and who cares? Not I. We’ll find out when it happens. And why argue about it until then? But this is what I decided today. I think that maybe, when the new Jerusalem descends, that it will descend into the Valley of Mexico. Today was one of those incredible days when I am amazed that I live in such a beautiful place. If you’ve never been to Mexico City, you don’t know what I’m talking about. If you have been here, you still may not know. This sort of day doesn’t normally come along often, but we’ve actually had quite a few of them in recent weeks. The blue clear sky, set behind and above those tall green mountains. A temperature of about 75 degrees and just the slightest cool breeze to brush the thin mountain air against the skin. That amazing low-latitude sun.

Of course, the new Jerusalem will descend after the millennium and the nuclear holocaust and all that, so that’ll give plenty of time for all the ugliness of the "world's largest city" to be burned down, disintegrated, blown away, and washed clean; and for the old fields and forests and lakes to restore themselves. If you still don’t understand, come and visit Mexico City. Maybe tomorrow will be just as nice as today. How could it get any better? I know, I know… only if I could share it with… you know… her. But I can’t. So I’ll have to enjoy it alone and be thankful for such a blessing.

Things I Don't Understand

2004-09-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about a lot of things recently, and I've come to the conclusion that I don't know very much about anything. So I am making this list of some of the things I don't understand, things that confuse and frustrate me. My original list was a lot longer, but I decided to cut out all the fluff and make my list short and to the point.

1. Life

2. People in general

3. Women specifically

My Life in Four Short Paragraphs

2004-08-14T19:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long since the I've last written. I don't know why it's taken me so long to get back and write some more; I just haven't sat down to do it. I really haven't had anything hit me that I should write here, either. Of those gazillion thoughts I mentioned last time, about a bajillion are still around, running through my head. I have had time to sort out some of them and talk about others. Perhaps one of the factors in me not writing is that I haven't been on the computer very much. There have been several times that I have not even turned on my computer for two or three days in a row. That's odd for me, because I used to check email at least a few times a day. I reckon that with life settling down here and getting simpler (and more complicated) that I've not been thinking about email quite as much as I did for my first month here.

Since I last wrote I've been on a couple of adventures. One was back to the USA to go to a wedding. I also got to see some of my family for a day or so. That was nice, since I hadn't been planning on seeing them until at least December. We also ate some good food. We ate at Toot's and the Bell Buckle Cafe. Mmmm.... The wedding went well and I had a good time and was glad that I could go. Two of my friends from my first two years in Mexico got married. They met on the field and had a long-distance relationship for a year and a half. And the wedding was in the Atlanta area, so the day after the wedding I went to see the Braves play. That was my third Braves game this year, and I've been in Mexico City for over two months. How cool is that? Tonight is the Titans' first preseason game of the year, though, and I think I might be able to attend only one game this year, the game on Christmas night.

Last Saturday I went to Xochimilco to ride on the boats. For those of you who aren't familiar with the history of Mexico City, I'll give a brief lesson. Mexico City was founded as Tenochtitlan, the home of the Aztecs and the eventual center of their empire, around the year 1325 on a small island in a shallow lake in a large valley surrounded by volcanic mountains. As the Aztecs grew in power and numbers, they needed more land, so they sunk wooden boats full of dirt into the lake to make more land, and hence built a system of canals among the manmade "islands." The Spaniards came and made the city of Tenochtitlan the capital city of their western empire (New Spain), and as the city grew and grew over the centuries, the lake was drained until all that is left of the original system of canals is in Xochimilco. It is a popular place for both tourists and Mexicans to go on the weekends and hire a brightly colored wooden boat with a driver that pushes the boat up and down the canals with a long pole. Vendors selling all sorts of cheap souvenirs and food and drinks come along in small boats, as well as Mariachis who will play you a song (or however many songs you can afford). So anyway, it's one of the places in Mexico City that I really enjoy. That was the second time I had been in the 2.5 months or so since I've been back.

Tonight I ate real Mexican tacos, after having a conversation with my brother about the sheer goodness of REAL Mexican food. I really like the American style of Mexican food, but I really like real Mexican food also. Tacos de bistec... little chunks of thinly sliced steak on a soft corn tortilla, covered in lime juice. Can it be beat? I'd have a hard time finding something to do so.

I don't guess there was a point to anything I've written tonight. Hopefully next time I won't be so long in writing.

A Goofy Poem

2004-07-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

It's getting harder and harder to write, because there is so much running through my head. If I had a bajillion thoughts running through my head before, now I must have a gazillion. Those of you who know about those very large powers of ten know what I mean. For those of you who don't, I will just tell you here: there are a million bajillion in a gazillion. Simple enough, eh? But the problem with all these thoughts is that I haven't taken the time to sit down and go over all these things that I've been thinking. That's why I haven't been writing much for a little while.

But I was feeling rather saucy this morning at about 4:00, and so I decided to write a poem. I was thinking about these conversations I've had recently in which I've mentioned the song "The Scientist" by Coldplay. I really like that song, but I think the song had to be written a dozen times before it got that good. So here's my suggestion of what Coldplay's "Scientist" might have written as a first draft.

"For the Scientist's Beloved"

My love, you are more beautiful to me than my hypothetical proof of Fermat's Last Theorem.

Your face and the symmetry exhibited therein is more lovely than the radial symmetry present in Pisaster giganteus.

Your eyes, while reflecting electromagnetic waves with a wavelength of only 450 nanometers, cause an effect of a resonant nature in me when the cones and rods of my retinae are activated by their light.

Your proportions are more aesthetically pleasing than the golden ratio itself.

My cardiac muscle contracts and expands in cycles of decreasing period when my neurons are alerted to your presence.

I smile at the very vibration of my tympana in reaction to the compression waves emitted from your larynx.

Your emanations cause a soothing olfactory response for me.

To ponder both your inner and outer beauty is better than to ponder the dual nature of light.

Before I was even able to perceive the proverbial primary seismic waves you released to my life, my world was shaken by the secondary and tertiary waves.

You are the outside force spoken of in Newton's First Law of Motion that changed my inertia by giving magnitude and direction to my state of rest.

My love, you are the cosmos to me: You are my Milky Way and Andromeda, my quarks and neutrinos.

Yeah, most of the people in the world shouldn't write poetry. I'm one of those people. I actually probably shouldn't even read poetry ever, because it's too far above me. But that's my poem I wrote. Hope you enjoyed it!

Almost Two Weeks

2004-07-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

I don't know. It's been almost two weeks since the last time I wrote, and I've done so many things since then, but I still can't put anything together here. If I were trying to build on a theme in all the things I had written during the month of June, I have definitely lost that momentum. I'm not sure what I was trying to accomplish when I started writing. I guess it was just to give me a place to write what's going on with me and to give you a place to read those things. So then, what's going on with me?

I went to Texas for meetings. I don't like meetings. And I really only hung out with one person the whole time I was there, much to the chagrin of those who make the rules. I had a lot of fun hanging out and talking; but the meetings, and the very hot heat and humidity, and the very cold air conditioning, and Texas in general, I didn't really care for. But how much have I ever cared for meetings, heat and humidity, or Texas? I appreciate air conditioning, but it was too cold there, sitting for long periods of time in meetings. I picked up a little cough and cold while there, and am still not fully over it. I did get to eat a few good meals out, and also went to the beach for a couple of hours one afternoon, so those two goals were accomplished.

So that's what I was doing from last Sunday to Friday. Then Friday I flew to South Carolina for that wedding. I had a fun time there. I went swimming one night for about 20 minutes until the hotel people kicked us out of the pool three minutes before the pool's closing time. And I went and shot skeet Saturday morning with the guy who got married and some of the people in the wedding. And then, about two hours before the wedding, the groom realized that he had left the wedding rings at his house, which was about 25 minutes away, so I drove out there and got the rings, then drove back to the church to drop them off, then had to drive about 15 minutes to the hotel to take a shower and get ready for the wedding... so I finally got back to the church all nice and clean and ran in and got up in the balcony just as the bride's maids were walking down the aisle. Whew!! Yeah, and then there was a dinner and dancing party later that evening, but I didn't dance. Hey, I don't dance. You ought to know that by now.

So I hung out with some old friends from Mexico on Sunday before they dropped me off at the airport and I flew back here. And I'm so tired... still. I think maybe I'll get to bed early tonight. I'm planning on riding out to the new school property sometime tomorrow morning, so I can't stay in bed until 10:00 like I did yesterday and today. I don't know what that new property is like, and I have no idea where it is. But it's ours now, and we'll start moving things soon.

I reckon that's all I can write for you tonight. I hope that someday soon I will have the motivation and inspiration to write more, maybe to write some deep thoughts of some sort or other. But until that time....

Nothing Good to Write

2004-07-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

So it's been almost a week since I've written. I'm actually considering this Thursday night, although it is actually like 1:00 on Friday morning. The blogger program will stamp the actual time at the bottom for you. I still don't have anything good to write, but since I just spent quite a bit of time writing four pages in my journal, I figured I could spare some words for my blog. But it'll only be words, and not good thoughts... no "inspirational thoughts" as secret agent Herman Johnnie IV called them. I don't think I can spare any thoughts for the moment; I'm trying to use all my powers for good right now. Maybe I'm in a superhero frame of mind, since I watched Spider Man 2 last night. I get too wrapped up in movies. I got too caught up in the Lord of the Rings movies and so I tried writing all old-timey and what not, and trying to use phrases and sayings that they used way back when. Now I'm thinking I have super powers, and that this responsibility will cost me my dream, the thing I most desire... yeah, I'm definitely in too much of a Spider Man mood.... But I'm torn between the two... the thing I want to think of as being "my life" (when it actually isn't mine at all, I've been bought with a price, remember)... and the responsibility of being where I am, at this time, for this purpose, etc. Hmm..... no good thoughts there, just random babbling.

So what else is new? I finally moved this week. This new house is a decent house. I have two complaints though. The bathroom and kitchen are very small, the bathroom to the point that I have to get in and close the door to get clear access to the sink, and the kitchen to the point that the dishes are put up in the cabinet in the separate dining room, because there is not a cupboard big enough to store the dishes, apparently. I actually haven't tried to rearrange things yet; that's just the way it was when I arrived. The other complaint is that there is no place for me to go outside where I can have any measure of privacy. My old house had a small backyard / patio area, and also an upstairs patio area with good privacy. The place I was staying for the last month had a closed-in parking area that was nice and large and provided a decent place to be outside in privacy. What's the big deal with me being outside and wanting to be shielded from the neighbors? I grew up for many years in the country, on 100 acres. From our front porch we couldn't see any other houses. I could walk for hours around the farm, if I had the energy and the desire to do so, without ever leaving the privacy of our own land. It'll be an adjustment for me here in this house. There is actually a back patio, but I don't think it's well suited for anything. So anyway, those aren't very good thoughts either, just more babbling.

The last thing I think I'll write tonight is that I'm getting ready to go to Texas for meetings. I'll have to pack a bag tomorrow, though we're not leaving until Sunday, since I'll be sending a bag with someone who has a car bigger than a Neon. I'm riding up to Texas in a Neon with two Journeygirls, so I figured I'd go ahead and send my stuff along with someone with a van. I don't want there to be any problems with all the luggage fitting. Then next Friday, I'm flying up to South Carolina for a friend's wedding. So I'll have a busy time for the next week and more. I guess that's all I can write tonight. It is after one in the morning, after all.

Nothing to Write

2004-07-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

Maybe tonight my inspiration is ignoring me. Maybe my inspiration is just an illusion. Maybe it's just been hope that's inpired me. I don't know. But I can't write without inspiration, so tonight I have nothing to write. Not e'en the beautiful weather we've had here the last three days or the full moon tonight can inspire me. Not e'en listening to Steve Bell for hours a day, every day for the last week, is inspiration for me tonight. Not e'en the unbelievable amount of amazing real Mexican food I ate for lunch today can inspire me to write anything more tonight. My inspiration is ignoring me.

Three in a Row

2004-06-30T20:32:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, for the third week in a row, I ate pizza on two-for-one Tuesday at Domino's. This time I ate pizza with some of my former students. One just graduated, and the other recently returned from a two-year furlough. I guess the latter will be my student again this year, if I want to get technical about it. Or maybe he won't, depending on the classes I teach and the classes he takes.

Speaking of the school, I just heard the news today that the school has bought property of its own. For as long I know, the schools here on the northside of Mexico City have been renting. The place where the school was located when I was here was actually rented from a mission organization that was renting the property itself from the owners. That property was sold as I was leaving in December 2002, and the school moved sometime during the spring of 2003. That, too, was a rental property, being shared with a church and a Mexican preschool. But now the school owns its own property. I actually don't know how the deal was worked out, with who owns what, but perhaps now we can work on things other than worrying about the next time we'll have to move (once we get this move out of the way). I haven't seen the place, but the people who have seen it have said good things about the land and the buildings. I hate moving, but it looks like I'll be working with the school's moving process during the next couple of months, before the new year starts in late August. So in the last three years, the school has had three different homes.

Speaking of moving, I will be moving again pretty soon, perhaps this weekend. I am actually used to the house where I am now, but it is far away from the people and the places I know. Traffic getting out here can also be a bear during the peak hours, which can last until pretty late in this part of the city. Today I saw the house to which I will be moving. Its layout and paint scheme are definitely more Mexican than either this or my old house, but it seems like a decent place. The people living there now told me that they have enjoyed the place, and that they haven't had any big problems with anything. So that's good. I'm not looking forward to moving stuff and figuring everything out all over again in a new house, but I reckon I'll be okay. I hope it doesn't take me long to adjust; it took me a little while to get adjusted to living here in this house. Hmmm... So this new house will be the third house I've lived in in Mexico. I've stayed here and there in places for a day or two at a time, but I really only lived in one house my first term, then this house where I've lived for a month, now this new I house where I'll be living in a few days.

Looking Up

2004-06-28T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here goofing off at the computer, and I look out the window into the darkness, and I notice a bright light... it's the moon... the moon! I haven't seen the moon in a long time. It's been raining every night for the last couple of weeks, which means it's been cloudy during the nighttime. I noticed the moon out the window, so I went out and looked up and saw the moon and two stars. I guess, considering the glare from the millions of city lights and the way the smog has been so thick for the last month, the moon and two stars isn't bad. I could actually almost see the outlines of the tall buildings in Santa Fe this afternoon... almost. That's about as clear as it has been in June. The moon and two stars isn't much, considering what a clear night back home looks like, but it is nice to be able to walk out into the cool night air and look up and see something other than orange-glowing clouds.

Scattered Thoughts

2004-06-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

A strange thing happened to me yesterday. I was at the airport to drop off some people and pick up some others, and this guy came up to me and asked me if I was Joel. Who is this guy? How does he know me? Turns out he was one of my english students... from a class I taught three years ago... for less than a month. How did he remember me? I wouldn't have been able to pick him out of a crowd; I wouldn't have recognized him if I were looking straight at him. But he remembered me. Hmm.

I had fun this last week. We didn't do a lot of exciting things, but it was good to have people in the house, especially an old friend. We passed out gospels and tracts and church invitations in a rather wealthy neighborhood nearby. We got stopped and yelled at by the cops, who were trying to stop us from passing out stuff, but they had no authority to stop us, we found out. We went downtown Thursday night and ate enchiladas suizas at the house of tiles. Yum yum. When my older brother was here visiting a couple of years ago we ate at the house of tiles, and I got food poisoning. My brother and I both ate enchiladas suizas and drank limonada, but he didn't get sick. I had been here for over a year, and I got sick. It only lasted for a day, but it was rough for that day, and it forced us to cancel our trip to Acapulco.

Okay, this is the third time I've mentioned the "cannons" in my blog. I don't actually know what they are. We've always called them cannons, but I think they are like really loud bottle rockets. The first two times I mentioned them here I said that they didn't really bother me, and I didn't think about them too much. But today that changed. They started firing the stupid things at 5:00 this morning, and they probably fired 1500 or more of them from 5:00 to 8:00. And they've been doing it all stinking day. I guess now that I've begun thinking about them, and since they woke me up this morning, that now they are driving me crazy. If you want to fire those things off all day, that's one thing. But why do you have to be morons and start firing them at 5:00 in the morning? The sun doesn't rise here until almost 8:00. Absolutely ridiculous.

I watched Shrek 2 yesterday with some of my students and former students. It was pretty good, but not as good as the first. I'm looking forward to seeing Spider Man 2, which comes out here next Friday. I probably won't see it that day, but I'm looking forward to seeing it sometime soon.

So I've done it again. Another post full of scattered thoughts. At least it fits my blog title.

Stuck in My Head

2004-06-24T22:30:00.000-07:00

I can't get these three things out of my head.

The first comes from Romans 4. Read the whole chapter to see what's going on regarding the faith of Abraham, but the verses that have been eating their way through my brains since I read them a few days ago are verses 19 - 21. I'll copy them here from the New American Standard Bible.

"Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet with respect to the promise of God he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform."

Yeah, so Abraham looked around and saw with his eyes that God's promise to him that he would have a son seemed impossible, but he trusted God and believed not only that God was able to, but also that we was going to do that which he had promised. That was Abraham's faith. That is why his faith was credited to him as righteousness. He believed despite what his fleshly eyes and his fleshly mind told him to believe. I don't know how many times I've read Romans 4, but this is the first time that concept ever hit me. And it's such a simple idea. And it is stuck in my head.

The second comes from a song by Jennifer Knapp. It is called "No Regrets" and is off the album "The Way I Am." Here are some lines from the song.

"Should I be rich and poor and scattered in my dreams
while all the figures that surround me live unguarded with no regrets?
Should I be lost in forgetfulness with no regrets in my head,
faithfully shed and free from the worry,
free from the dark that lives in me,
free to embark on the passion You've favorably fashioned in me?"

I like the way the song asks a question rather than proclaiming an answer. Is that the way I'm supposed to be? Is that what this freedom in Christ is for? So that I can live life without regrets? So that I don't have to worry that the decisions I make today will haunt me tomorrow? So that I can follow the passions God has created in me? So that I can be the person God made me to be? And ultimately so that I can stand boldly and reverently before God without shame? No Regrets. It's a wonderful idea, and it is stuck in my head.

So considering these two things that I can't stop considering, here's the third. Metaphorically speaking, what do I do about this wall I'm facing? I've ne'er been able to get to the other side of this wall: I can't go under it; I can't sneak around it; I'm too timid to e'en attempt to climb it. Can I continue hoping that someone will come along and give me a push from below or a pull from above? Could I possibly understand or e'er prepare myself for what is on the other side? Do I believe that, despite what my eyes and mind are telling me about this wall and how tall it is, how steep it is, how difficult it would be to climb, that God will make the "impossible" possible? For me? In my case? Can I live with the regrets I will surely face if I ne'er attempt the climb? How could I have e'er given up hope that one day I would accomplish this feat? For quite a while now, this idea has been stuck in my head.

Two in a Row

2004-06-22T19:59:00.000-07:00

I am worn out tonight. I've been out in the sun all day for the past two days. It hasn't been hot here at all for the past few days, but the sun is so high in the sky that it is a killer. My face and neck are bright red. Fortunately, I remembered to wear a cap, so my scalp hasn't gotten too badly burned.

My geometry students have been out of the city on a youth retreat, so we haven't been doing geometry this week, but we'll start back tomorrow. We actually only skipped these two days, but it seems like weeks since we last had the class. So I had to pull out the geometry book and figure out what to do for tomorrow and the rest of the week. We're rushing through the class, but my students are sharp, so it's all good. The problem we're having is scheduling, with people being out of the country for this and that. We'll put the class on hiatus for a month or longer after the end of next week, so I don't have any idea when we'll actually finish the second half of the course.

Thinking and writing takes so much energy and effort, and when I'm tired like this I can't think well enough to write much of anything. So why am I writing anything at all? It's probably just to keep on the schedule it seems I've set of writing something every other day. That's why I took the time to write a lousy blog entry. "That makes two in a row. So don't bother next time if you're not going to write anything good," you say. Maybe I won't. That'll teach you a lesson. Yeah! Who's the smart one now?

Too Early This Morning

2004-06-20T08:40:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's too early in the morning to do much thinking. It's only 10:00, after all, and I've only been up since 7:30. The cannons were blast, blast, blasting away around 8:00 or so. As I said before, it doesn't bother me really, but there's a guy here in my house who is out of the USA for the first time. I don't know if the blasts woke him up or scared him or anything, but I remember how they used to startle me. Perhaps they sound like gunshots to someone who's ne'er heard them before and doesn't know what's going on.

We ate tacos yesterday. It's only the second time I've had real Mexican food since I've been here. I like tacos. They seem to like me, too; at least the steak tacos do. They usually agree with my digestive processes. I used to have problems with some of the other varieties, so I generally stick with the steak tacos now.

I'm getting ready for a week of being totally thrown off schedule. But that's okay. It's good to have people here. When I'm all by myself, I can make my own schedule and do things exactly when and how I want to do them. But I'm all by myself. When I'm with people, I have to change my plans and upset my schedule and neglect my desire to be in control. But I'm not all by myself. So it's the old tradeoff. I remember teaching physics and telling my students that everything we're doing is trading one thing for another: distance for force, work for energy, kinetic for potential. All we have to do is figure out how to balance these tradeoffs. But I suppose just about everything we do in all of life works on the same principles. We trade this for that, and we try to find the best balance we can.

Perspective

2004-06-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

Nickel Creek is already using the phrase "it's foreign on this side," as you know from reading my subheader above. But what the heck does that have to do with me? The chorus of the song changes as the song progresses, but the first chorus says, "It's foreign on this side, and I'll not leave my home again; there's no place to hide, and I'm nothing but scared." I feel like I could adopt those words as my own sometimes, e'en though the song is not actually talking about being in a strange country, but being in a strange state of mind. Yeah, I once said that I'd not leave my home again. Back in late 2002 when people would ask me what I was going to do back in Tennessee, I had a variety of answers. I told some that I would like to be a farmer. I told others that I'd like to be a mechanic. I told others that I'd like to learn how to fly planes and be a pilot. I guess I didn't think it mattered very much, because I was going back, and that was all that was important to me at the time. I was going home. Pretty soon I found out though, that yes, it did matter, and I had no clue. But that's another story, a story that I still don't think I know how to tell. I'm not going to declare to the world, as I did last time (mistakenly), that once I get back home I'll ne'er leave again; but looking ahead, thinking about two years, and considering my strange state of mind, I'm nothing but scared. The song ends with the chorus that says, "It's foreign on this side, but it feels like I'm home again; there's no place to hide, but I don't think I'm scared." Yeah, that's not me. I'll have to stick with the first one for now.

Tomorrow will make three weeks since I got here. The first week was spent in a whirlwind, the last two have been in the doldrums. How's my weather analogy working for you? It's interesting to see how perspective plays its role. The two visiting girls I took shopping last weekend had been here for just over a week, and were talking about missing their cell phones, american food, &c. When groups come down here, they talk about how much impact a week here has had in their lives, while weeks used to go by for me in which I wouldn't think about the things they find so touching or heart-breaking. I guess after so much time, things just lose their luster, and you get numb to the oddities. Like the "cannons" that blast from the churches here. I suppose they shoot these loud noises to celebrate the saints. This morning was the first time I actually thought about them, though I've been hearing them just about everyday. Maybe it's like asking someone who lives on the coast why he doesn't go to the beach everyday. It's not vacation for him, it's life. And it's life here for me, too. I go to the store and buy bread and milk. I go to the bank and wait in line. I talk with people on the phone who want to sell me stuff I don't want. The other day I argued with this one lady for 45 minutes about a bill I didn't think was right. I worked on my spanish with her a lot that afternoon.

My mundane life abroad... it will probably get more interesting this week when a friend from my first time here visits. I'm looking forward to that.

Pizza and a Movie

2004-06-16T16:25:00.000-07:00

It has been hot here the last few days (but nothing like in Tennessee). It probably should be raining here nearly every day by this time of the year, but the rains have yet to get consistent. It finally rained last night, so I opened up the windows and door to try to get some of that cool air in the house, because several days' heat buildup had made the house quite warm.

I bought two pizzas yesterday, since Tuesday is two-for-one pizza day. So that's what I ate for lunch and supper yesterday and for lunch today. Yesterday's half-priced hawaiian pizza, totally douched with hot sauce, and a cold Manzana Lift (the original red apple, please)... mmmm... maybe life isn't so bad after all. What about Mexico is there to complain about anyway? The only way I could imagine it getting better would be to share it with... you know... her. How romantic, eh? Reheated pizza, caffeine-laden apple coke, then a half-priced Wednesday movie. If that's my idea of romance, then it might be a good explanation of why I've ne'er had any luck with the ladies.

Speaking of movies, I went to watch "Troy" today. I had wanted to watch it for a while, but since I knew I was going to Mexico, I thought I'd wait until I got here and could watch it for about two and a half dollars... man, I can be cheap. I e'en parked across the street so I wouldn't have to pay for parking. I didn't like the movie at all for the first hour or longer, until they started fighting a lot. Then it got better. But I get mad at movies sometimes, when people do dumb things for dramatic effect. Like in "Troy" when Achilles is tieing up Hector to drag him around, I kept thinking, why don't all those archers on the walls do something? I almost shouted "shoot the (guy)!" But no one would have understood. I might have done it if I were in the USA. I was actually thinking it the whole time they were fighting. What do they really care about "honor?" Apparently the Trojans didn't care when Paris acted like a coward, so why would it matter if it took all the archers of Troy to kill Achilles so that Hector could live? I also got mad at the movie because I thought Hector should have just turned into the Hulk and killed everybody. And isn't Achilles just a figment of Ed Norton's character's imagination anyways? And why didn't Paris summon the legions of Rivendell? Movies... make for so much drama, but so little sense.

Teachers

2004-06-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if I think too much. After talking with a friend a little bit yesterday about being a teacher, I spent a lot of time thinking about some of the teachers I had when I was in school. I was thinking specifically about two of my math teachers from junior high and high school, and the things I learned from them. I teach math, but I like teaching science much better. Teaching math is just part of the package that comes along with teaching science here, and I'm pretty good at the sort of math we do in junior high and high school, but I wouldn't have a clue with differential equations, finite math, or anything more than just the basics of calculus. In my little K-12 country school, I believe that I had two of the best math teachers out there. They were both gifted with the ability not just to do math and show examples, but to really explain and teach it. I had another math teacher in high school who was very good at math, but wasn't a very good math teacher. But my teachers for 7th grade math, algebra I, geometry, and advanced math were great. Mr. Anderson was a hippie from California. I'm not sure how he ended up in Bell Buckle, but apparently it was just the fit for him. He drove either an old VW bug that his son and he had spray-painted bright colors and written "Splendido Art Colony" all over (which by chance he later sold to my brother), or an old BMW motorcycle. Now he drives an old beat-up Jeep. He had quotes from Latin covering his walls, he made us do our homework so neatly that we could only fit two addition problems to a page, and he would make the girls leave the room to tell the boys jokes that made no sense. Some might call Mr. Turrentine a hillbilly, but I don't know about that. I would call him a genius from the backwoods. He was building his own house out in the woods; he paid his way through college milking cows; and his wife and he played the fiddle, the penny whistle, the hammered dulcimer, and a range of other mountain instruments (probably including the jug). Most of the geometry we learned was related to carpentry. These two teachers taught me math in a way I could understand and remember it. They taught me to figure out things for myself, to be meticulous, to pay the utmost attention to detail, to put my effort into doing things correctly rather than simply looking for the right answers, and to really enjoy math. They were great teachers, and I learned so much from them, but there is no doubt in my mind that the majority of the people in my class completely missed it all. Despite the fact that I consider them so gifted at teaching math, they simply weren't able to teach the majority of the students in the class the things they taught me, and most of those students left the class with the same disgust for math which they had upon entering. So now that I'm teaching math and wishing that I had that gift of being able to explain and really teach math, I wonder how much it would really matter. E'en if I were as good a math teacher as Mr. Anderson and Mr. Turrentine, many of my students would simply not understand. They would not come to love math or appreciate its importance or its centrality to all learning. They would simply leave being able to get the right answers (some of them), and never learn to apply it to life beyond school. I think very highly of my students (certainly more highly than I think of my old classmates), but that is simply the way of things. Most people don't see things the way I see them. I tried my best to instill in them a sense of pride for their neatly written work, or a clean classroom, or a well-swept sidewalk, but they ne'er got it. So sometimes it gets me down to think that if I did my best, or if I could e'en be the best, it would make little difference to most of my students. Most of them just want to get in and get out, knowing that they have to get in to get out, that they have to do math and science, just to leave it all behind, before they can finish school. So what's the point of me, then? I suppose I have to be the one to find a way to teach them the things they don't e'en know they need to learn. Is that my role, to force them to do things they don't want to do and might ne'er come to appreciate? E'en so, I still have keep up hope that I might be able to make a little positive difference or that I might make one spark set something off somewhere, though I may ne'er see it.

Man, I'll tell you what, this writing business is wearing me out. I'm probably doing too much at the beginning to get this blog started, and will soon drop off significantly in both quantity and (if possible) quality of writing. But for now I hope I don't. I consider this a worthwhile undertaking, e'en if very few people actually read it. You know who you are. Thanks again for reading.

Of Jealousy and Food

2004-06-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

I did it! Blog post # 2!

Friday night I saw some of my old students from my first term here. They moved to another city about a year ago, so I didn't see them during the first few days after I got back, when I saw a large number of my other old students at the airport, the school, and the graduation / awards ceremony. So this one former student of mine, when I had him last, he was in the eighth grade. He was already several inches taller than me, with model-type looks, smart as a whip, &c. So I saw him the other night, and I'm not sure if he had actually gotten much taller, but wearing this shirt that looked like an England soccer jersey, and his hair half-way covering his face, I could have sworn that he came right out of the pages of GQ magazine. So I was thinking, it's one thing to secretly harbor some "jealousy" or "envy" when I think about my hero, Bebo Norman, who is a big famous Christian folk-style singer / songwriter. But what does it say about me when I'm secretly jealous of a fifteen-year-old kid? Hmm... just wondering.

Before that I had eaten supper at the business manager's house. I ate two big delicious hamburgers, along with chips and what not, and a piece of very rich chocolatey pie. I also took another burger and a large piece of cake home with me, so I ate well yesterday also. That was great, because I haven't been eating a whole lot since I've been here. If I'm at the house, I'll usually eat a little sandwich and chips. And if I'm away from the house, then I'm generally not the one to determine what we eat. Except for today. Today I ate at Italianni's. It is an Italian restaurant, if the name didn't give it away. They have the best chicken fettuccine ever. The pasta and sauce are good enough, but the chicken is thinly sliced and tender and so good, and it comes with shredded carrots and diced tomatoes. (And broccoli, too, but I just pick it out). And the bread they bring, along with this olive oil with herbs and basalmic vinager mixture for dipping.... mmmmm. So anyway, I went to church this morning at the English-speaking church, and I met this Journeyman girl who lives and works in Toluca, along with two girls who are with her for about a month or so. So after the service I was like, "You have plans for lunch? Want to go eat something?" I'm usually not bold about making plans, especially with people I don't e'en know (I had just met them less than two hours ago), but when it comes to eating, my stomach will generally defeat my shyness in a one-to-one match. At first they said that they were going to attend the Spanish service and eat at the potluck-style dinner afterwards, but then the pastor's wife suggested that we go eat, and then I could take them to "La Ciudadela" market to buy cheap souvenir-type junk. Shopping... not my favorite thing at all. But what else do I have to do? And if there's a good reason to eat some good food, then count me in. I'll sacrifice a few hours standing around while girls pick through hundreds of pieces of pewter that all look like ashtrays to me; or thumb through cheap water-color paintings on cheap homemade paper; or pick out their wedding china from among the shops in this hot, dirty, smelly, crowded market. I'll e'en fight the traffic and risk getting lost (sometimes), if I know there's a good meal in it for me. So that's what I did today. We left the church to go eat, and I suggested Italianni's, e'en though I ate there last Saturday. And they said they were fine with that, e'en though they'd already eaten there twice in the last two weeks. First, I veered into the wrong lane and ended up getting on Viaducto instead of on the Periférico (which may not mean much to you). Then we had some problem with ordering our food: our waiter had no idea that the dish we were ordering e'en existed. After he brought something with just chicken covered in vegetables and some sauce, we had to show him the menu, and then he had to go back and ask someone in the back what we were ordering. But he finally got it right. After eating we went downtown to the market. Well, today the final game of the summer soccer season playoffs was being played, here in the city, and there were roads closed everywhere for people to gather and watch and celebrate. So I had to find an alternate route to the market. After shopping for hours and buying only a bottle of water to drink (one of the girls did buy quite a bit), we left to go back to the church. Once again, we had the same problem with roads being closed. But by this time, the game was already over, and people were waving flags from their cars and honking at each other and all in celebration. I made a wrong turn on the way back to the church, but it worked out because we drove by the Ferrari dealership, and there was an Enzo inside. Aaaahhhhh..... Ferrari....... Enzo.......... So I took them back and came back home. Now I'm exhausted and ready for bed. And that's the end of that story. You have my apologies for the abrupt ending. So until the next time....

Today, a Long Time Ago, and Yesterday

2004-06-10T15:22:00.000-07:00

So this is my blog. I am starting it today, Thursday, June 10, 2004.

"Why start a blog?" you might ask. That's a good question, a question for which I don't have a good answer. I'm not a prolific writer or a wordsmith at all. I've tried before to take my everyday life and give it some meaning in the form of funny little stories or analogies or parables, but I had little success. I think that I used to try too hard to impress people with my writing that it lost its honesty. During my first term in Mexico City, I kept journals fairly consistently, but got out of the habit quite as soon as I got back to Tennessee. These days I will write in a journal sporadically at best, whereas before it was every Thursday night, week after week. I really enjoy pulling out the old journals from time to time and remembering the things I did and my frame of mind those few years ago, like the first time I drove (and the first time I got lost) in Mexico City; the first time I saw the Pacific Ocean and the adventures we had in Acapulco that weekend; the troubles I had starting out as a junior high and high school teacher with absolutely no idea what I was doing; or all those times during October, November, and December of 2002 when I wrote about how glad I was to be leaving Mexico, forever, with no intention of returning, and no intention of being a teacher again. Recently I read the entry in which I wrote that I was tired of living alone, and didn't want to do it anymore. I wrote that back in August 2002, at the start of the last five months of living alone in Mexico. I still don't like it, but look where I am: living alone, in Mexico City, teaching math and science again. In my strength I wonder how much longer I can do this, because my strength is no strength at all. It's been so much harder than I had imagined it would be when I signed up for this, and I've only been here alone for a week now. "So what's your point here, Smith?" There is no point. As I wrote above, I used to try to write good stories and relate the mundane details of my life to spiritual ideas and principles, but by now I've learned that the best I can do is to be honest in writing. So that's what I'm striving to do now. Last night I sat down to journal my first ten days or so back in Mexico City, and I ended up writing seven pages (a new record for me). There has been a lot on my mind during the time here, and I've had a lot of time alone to think about it all. Perhaps I am now getting to the point where I can process some of it. When I left Mexico in December 2002, I left absolutely exhausted mentally and emotionally. I was in no shape for thinking about what had happened the last two years, and to compound the situation, I arrived to Christmas celebrations and things happening all around me that left me no time to process thoughts and feelings. So when people would ask me what I learned in Mexico, I never had a good answer to give. "What did you enjoy the most?" I don't know; I've never really thought about it. "What was the hardest part about it?" Um, yeah, I don't know that either.

"Why start a blog?" you might ask. I don't know. Maybe it's just for myself. Maybe it's to help me put some order to my thoughts and feelings about what happens in my dull, uninteresting life abroad. Maybe it's so that I feel like I'm reaching out to have some sort of interpersonal contact while living alone. Maybe it would be better if I asked you why you wanted to read my blog. Of course, and it should go without saying, I welcome anyone and everyone who wants to read my writings to do so. But if you're looking for good stories or exciting news from Mexico, or if you are reading it to pick up some insight that I might provide, then I'm afraid that you might be disappointed. To be honest with you, I can't give you a good reason to read my blog. If all you're looking for is a brief summary of what has been happening with me the last few days, then I guess it might do. I don't know how consistently I will be writing here, though, so I can't give you any promises that I'll be updating this on a regular basis. And of course, if you're actually reading this, then you probably know me. And if you actually know me, then you know that I tend to keep things to myself. So I probably won't be writing anything here that's very personal. Ask me in private, by email, or better yet call me, and I will decide what to share on a person-to-person basis.

So it comes to this: after spending all this time telling you why you shouldn't read my writings, I'm going to go ahead and tell you what happened to me yesterday, as a bonus for those who have chosen to endure. I spent three hours trying to pay a power bill, a power bill for which I did not use one single bit of electricity, a power bill which should have been paid two months ago. But that's the way things go here in Mexico. The bills come in the mail already a month past due, then they are wrong. The one I paid yesterday stated that there was a balance carried forward from the previous bill, but we had the receipt stating that the bill was indeed paid, albeit past due. So I went three places yesterday, got lost in a sea of buses, got drenched in the rain, and eventually stood in line for hours to talk to a man for three minutes who said he fixed it. I'm not holding on to very much hope that the next bill that arrives will have the problem from two bills back corrected, but at least I have the receipts for next time. But it wasn't really all bad. I actually only got misdirected once. I went first to the only place I knew to go, and there I was told to go to the wrong place, after waiting in line for a good while. The man at the wrong place told me the right place to go, but it took me a while to get there, getting lost and all. When I got to the right place I waited and waited, then I waited some more, before the man who "fixed" my bill was very nice to me, and didn't give me a hard time at all. So I got the bill fixed and paid, and I left happy that it was all over and done, until the next time it happens, at least.

What a day's worth of writing, I say. I really do appreciate all of you who read this, despite my pessimistic warnings against it. Maybe next time it will be better. So until then....